Saturday, December 20, 2008

prayers answered

i'm quite amazed.
because for the first time in my (yeah, short) life, being prayer co-ic of a camp was real. i learnt about priorities, God and fellowship. and God answered prayer, so i want to thank you for praying and interceding.

i was glad when i saw friendships blossoming, or growing deeper, through laughter and serious sharing and even tears.

and Ben-- he was right to call back the committee for a time of devotion before the final session of worship, even though it meant delaying dinner and delaying the last worship team's practice time. i was initially alarmed at the idea, and worried when i saw the frazzled looks on various faces; i wondered, are we being too demanding, unaware of the reality of hungry youths and lagging schedules and food going cold? so i gei kianged; i tried to cut it down so that it was just them sharing with a partner and praying. Which might have worked on its own, but what Ben did was, i believe, better; as i fled from the room and scuttled up and down stairs to check the situation, he exhorted the tired leaders and worshiped and prayed with them. In the end i didn't accomplish very much beyond familiarising myself with the stairways of bkt timah SA; but when the leaders left that room, even the ones who had first looked disgruntled said quietly, "Thank you", and i was glad that they had spent that time in devotion. Yes a schedule is a schedule, but how can a worship team lead others to worship, if they themselves have not entered that rest and gladness?
it seemed to me the classic Mary-Martha story--- i know i have a decidedly Marthaian tendency; in fact through much of this camp i'd been doing things before man, not often slowing down to be still before God. even as i went through the prayer basket and tried to write things in the encouragement booklets, my heart was restless, focused on doing things, rather than waiting on Jesus to touch hearts, draw out true conversations and stir up hearts to pray. Still i trust that He heard our prayers and interceded for us even while we did not know what to pray. The time i spent hiding in that corner might have been better used joining or watching the youths play and talking, really trying to connect with them. (connection these few days has been hard, possibly because of the voice, possibly because i have been hurrying and trying to do things rather than wait on God)
--> by the way, Ben did that; he went with the youths all the way and went through the camp with them.
--> so yeah Ben here's a big thank you for your patience and courage in speaking out when you were troubled by how ppl weren't focusing on God, and for reminding everyone to stop and enter God's rest again.
--> and for never losing your temper, even when i attempted to upturn your planned devotion, and when i was irritable while setting up encouragement system (i don't understand how you can stand there with rhinorrhoea and no tissue paper and still be so cheerful)
--> even though we often disagree on things in Bible Study and discussions, i pray God will continue to guide us into all truth, and that His love and grace will be made even clearer thus. IN YOUR LIFE BRO even though you sometimes feel like you're always gonna slip up.


As a result, for me the last night session was wonderful. Because it was so clear, like God's Spirit was breathing His truth into the words of the songs and the leader's words, making us understand the truth and the reality of Christ.

an adult stepped forward and prayed, and cried out in honesty to God, and was not ashamed to be without neat endings in his prayer, only affirming this: that God loves us, beyond our deserving.

After the worship session and altar call (during which many youths rededicated their lives to Christ), people started coming up and sharing testimonies. I was sorry to have to step out early.

during the camp also, i had the opportunity to sit in on group discussions. Then i realised that-- you know last time, when older youths would come in and speak and answer questions about God, and you wondered, how come they know so much? now i know God has been at work in our lives all these months for a reason. By faith, not of works that anyone might boast. i want to press on and walk steady in Christ, take time to rest in His presence and praise Him every day, for all my life, so that i would live after His pattern, and hear His voice, and do His will. Even when it's hard to decide between schedule and abandoned Spirit-led worship, between practicality and devotion.

so you see, i'm grateful for the learning. when i came back home, and reality/family issues came growling back, my thought was not, bleh, here we go; it was, pray, pray and commit this circumstance to the will of God. i want to keep doing that.

crucified with Christ means i am not my own; i was bought at a price. All of us were.

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